Fear of rejection can stifle connection

By: Linden Porter

Couples in crisis often find communication difficult and when this happens connection with each other is stifled.  This, of course, makes matters worse rather than better.  One or both of you will withdraw because you are scared of being rejected.  Being fearful is a very strong human emotion which will trigger to stop you doing something stupid.  This works well when standing on a cliff edge – you will back away to keep yourself safe.

It isn’t helpful in a relationship!

Tread carefully or matters will get worse

The next problem is you now feel you’re “walking on eggshells” in your attempts not to say, or do, the wrong thing.

To do this you have to stop being that ‘open’ you and create a new version of you – ‘survival you’.  This is not the real you.  Not “the you” you were when you both met.  By not being you matters will get worse

Couples in this place hunt for rejection

By the way, you may not know you’re doing this but your ‘survival you’ will be on alert for evidence to back up the belief for caution.  This will also trigger demands.  Demands that your partner behaves in a certain way.  Demands to change.  Demands to be different.

However, you are two human beings in a relationship and your partner is not you.  You are both different.  You will see problems differently.  You will communicate differently.  Crucially, you will interpret situations and information differently.

You cannot ask for your partner to be like you.

In addition to this men and women communicate differently.

Conquer the fear of rejection

Couples create methods of hiding their fears but this stifles openness which in turn stifles communication and connection.

couples in my sessions learn how to understand each other and how to meet each other’s needs. With the knowledge, they gain and learn, the fears begin to evaporate.  This gives them both strength and with that strength comes new understandings and a new connection.

Don’t let the fear of rejection stifle your connection with your partner when help could change your relationship and bring it closer than it’s ever been.

Source: http://lindenporter.co.uk/fear-of-rejection-can-stifle-connection/

The article is owned by Linden Porter. Visit site here for other interesting topics about marriage, love and relationship.

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