When a couple is in crisis and both are suffering it is easy to create a story which justifies their feelings. However is the story true or false?
From where they are currently the pain is undoubtedly true. The problem is if the story is fairly rigid then escaping the pain can seem impossible.
Blame your partner and the story can’t change
When a person is in pain blame is, all too frequently, the easy option. There is a problem with this approach as now this person is stuck. The story cannot change. They have no way out as they are not giving themselves growth to find out if they had a part to play. Frequently in this place the person will take little or no responsibility for the issues. They remain stuck with their pain and hurt and see no way to escape.
I see this time and time again in my sessions where one partner has done something painful and destructive to the relationship – for instance any type of affair.
Equally time and time again I help couples through what appears to be an impossible place to a place of real happiness and lasting attachment.
How?
Each couple and situation is of course unique to them. We are all unique so we create and live unique lives. However by helping and teaching them to understand how they got to this horrid place I help them through the pain to a place where they learn how to really connect with each other.
Divorce the story and marry the truth
By discovering how to divorce their story and so reach each other in ways they each need they learn how to help each other through misunderstandings and how to meet those deep human needs they each have.
If this is you then please don’t leave it until it is too late. Time is not on your side. My coaching is non-judgemental and is based on helping you both discover the real truth, a truth which sets you on a path to growth for your relationship.
Source: http://lindenporter.co.uk/divorce-the-story-and-marry-the-truth/
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