Dealing with your own inner conflict

By: Linden Porter

If you don’t feel good about what you’re doing or the way you’re doing it then the chances are you’re in conflict with yourself.

Blaming those around you won’t actually solve the problem.  You see if you do you’ve abdicated your responsibility for the situation.  I know that sounds tough, but it is said from a place of understanding and is not judgemental.  Everyone has times of conflict when it seems impossible to make the right decision or to sort out the issues.  Understanding how to manage inner conflict and to get great outcomes can make life fantastic and give you all you desire.

Dealing with your own inner conflict

Often an inner conflict is caused by a decision which you made based on how you expect others to behave or respond.  For instance if you believe that your partner must never ‘cheat’ and that if they do then the relationship is over for good then you have failed yourself as well as them.

To be absolutely clear – I do not condone ‘cheating’ or affairs.  Neither do I judge.

An affair rarely happens if both in the relationship are having all their needs met by the other.  So when someone turns to another it is frequently to have a need met which is not being met in their relationship.

This requires you to understand your part in their affair.

This requires new ways of looking at your inner conflict and understanding  your deepest needs first.

It isn’t very easy to ditch a belief unless you are able to replace it with a new one.  This doesn’t mean you lower your standards.  Much more it requires you to raise them.  You find out how to take and meet your responsibility for your relationship.

I see many couples who have ended up in this place.  They work with me to learn the reasons the affair or ‘cheat’ happened and then how to take responsibility for their relationship.

So many of these couples discover a deeper and more passionate relationship.  One they didn’t think was possible.

Your Inner Conflict is a signal for you to find out what you can change

It may be changing your partner is not the answer but changing your relationship with your partner is.

Source: http://lindenporter.co.uk/dealing-with-your-own-inner-conflict/

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